After a Suicide Loss: Practical First Steps

We are sorry for your loss. Losing someone to suicide brings a kind of grief that is often mixed with shock, questions and sometimes guilt or anger. All of those reactions are common. This guide is meant to help with the practical side of the first days and weeks so that you can spend your energy on yourself and the people around you. Take it one piece at a time, and let others help.

If anyone is in crisis right now

Grief after a suicide can be overwhelming, and it is important to watch out for yourself and each other. If you, or anyone in your family, is having thoughts of suicide or feels unable to cope, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or use the chat at 988lifeline.org. It is free, confidential and available at any hour. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

The first hours

If you were the one who found your loved one, you have already been through something very difficult. Police and the medical examiner or coroner will typically be involved, as with any unexpected death at home. This is routine. They will ask questions, take care of transport, and later release the home. Ask for a case number and a contact name.

Some things that may help right now:

• Call one or two people you trust to be with you.
• Do not go back into the room where your loved one died unless you want to. Close the door.
• Keep children and pets out of the area.
• You do not need to make decisions about the home, belongings or funeral today.

Telling others

You get to decide what to share and with whom. Some families choose to be open about the cause of death because it reduces secrecy and can help others; some prefer privacy. Both are valid. Choose one or two people to help spread news so you are not repeating it many times. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offers guidance on difficult conversations, including telling children, handling media and writing an obituary. Our guide on supporting children after a traumatic event at home may also help.

Practical tasks for the coming days

Things that need attention soon

• Choose a funeral home and share the medical examiner's contact details with them.
• Request several official copies of the death certificate when available.
• Notify the person's employer, if they were working.
• Secure the home and any vehicles.
• Care for pets that lived with your loved one.

Things that can wait

• Sorting belongings
• Closing accounts
• Decisions about the house, apartment or lease
• Responding to every message

It is fine to ask a friend or relative to keep a list of tasks and handle calls.

The home

If the death happened at home, the area may need professional cleanup once authorities release it. Families should not feel they have to do this themselves. Cleaning up after a loved one's death can be traumatic, and blood and bodily fluids carry health risks. A professional crew can handle the work discreetly, set aside personal items, and leave the space safe to use.

A few things to know:

• Homeowners insurance often helps pay for cleanup; your insurer decides based on your policy. See our guide on homeowners insurance coverage.
• If your loved one rented, the landlord will usually be involved. Our landlord guide explains their side.
• You can ask the cleanup company to look for and set aside specific items, such as a phone, a letter, jewelry or photos.
• You do not need to be present during the work.

Belongings, notes and phones

Some families find a note; many do not. Either way, your loved one's belongings can carry strong emotions. There is no deadline for going through them. If police took items such as a phone or a note during the investigation, ask the investigating agency whether and when they may be returned. See our guide on belongings after a traumatic death.

Support for suicide loss survivors

People who have lost someone to suicide are sometimes called suicide loss survivors. Support designed specifically for this kind of loss can help, because others who have been through it understand the particular questions and feelings involved. Options include:

• Support groups for suicide loss. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention maintains a directory of groups in the U.S. and elsewhere.
• Peer support. AFSP's Healing Conversations program connects you with a trained volunteer who has also lost someone to suicide.
• Counselors with training in suicide bereavement. AFSP lists clinicians with this training.
• The 988 Lifeline for moments when grief becomes overwhelming, at any hour.
• Your doctor, particularly if sleep, appetite or daily functioning are affected.
• Faith communities and trusted friends.

Caring for each other

Family members often grieve differently. One person may want to talk, another may need quiet, another may focus on tasks. Try to allow for these differences. Watch for warning signs in others, such as talking about wanting to die, withdrawing, giving away possessions or sudden calm after deep distress, and reach out to 988 or a professional if you are worried. Check in with children and teenagers especially; they may not show grief the way adults expect.

When to call a professional for the home

When the home has been released and you are ready, a professional cleanup company can take care of the space so your family does not have to. New Dawn Bio Restoration works quietly and respectfully, explains what is likely involved on the first call with no commitment, and sets aside personal items for the family. You can contact us or call 615-914-0790. Please call to confirm availability for your location.

Related services

• Blood cleanup

  Removal and disinfection of blood and the materials it has soaked into, whether the spill is small or large, recent or days old.

• Trauma scene cleanup

  Cleanup of blood and bodily fluids after a serious injury, including self-inflicted injuries, where the person was taken for care.

• Suicide cleanup

  Private, respectful cleanup after a death by suicide, so family members and friends are not left to handle it themselves.

Related guides

• Does Homeowners Insurance Cover Biohazard Cleanup?

  Homeowners insurance often helps pay for biohazard cleanup when the contamination comes from a sudden, accidental event such as a death, injury or crime in the

• What to Do With a Loved One's Belongings After a Traumatic Death

  After a traumatic death, only belongings that were contaminated need a prompt decision, for health reasons. Everything else can wait until the family is ready.

• Supporting Children and Family Members After a Traumatic Event at Home

  After a traumatic event at home, children and adults are helped most by safety, routine, honest age-appropriate information, and permission to feel what they fe